It’s Ours…now the Work Begins.

We did close as planned yesterday, so now the real work begins.  The rest of this post is just a litany of all the little things moving seems to involve – useful for you maybe if you are planning a move and trying to create a checklist, or applying for pre-K in Rockland or buying a washer-dryer, but otherwise pretty deathly boring, so feel free to stop here…

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I bit the bullet on a washer and dryer (went with an unmatched set from Best Buy – Whirlpool washer (WFW72HEDW) and Samsung gas dryer (DV4245200GW) that I’ll pay a local plumber $75 or so to install next week when it is scheduled to be delivered).  Hope they are okay – they’re sort of middle of the road but get good user reviews at least so fingers crossed.  Supposedly they are both stackable, too, so if we later figure out some way to add a laundry closet up on the second floor where the bedrooms are, maybe I can just move these upstairs…

Tomorrow my husband was planning to go to the house to shovel it out and be there for cable/internet installation, so I decided to take advantage of it and schedule him quite a day of picking up our new minivan, taking delivery of a piano, getting a bid for window work in the basement, fixing things in two of the bathrooms, and childproofing.  And that’s just what I remember from the list offhand.

Meanwhile I worked today on figuring out the Rockland Universal Pre-K (UPK) application — you have to fill out a central application (available online but somehow not easily linkable) through Childcare Resources of Rockland in addition to applying to the schools individually?? — getting our car insurance switched over, paying bills and notifying of the address change, and closing utility accounts in Brooklyn (ConEd, check, TWC, still to do…).  If I could find my driver’s license I’d do the DMV change of address as well…

Next up – choosing a king mattress set that won’t jostle me every time my husband rolls over, switching to a bank that’s more convenient out there, which means trying to locate our safe deposit box keys (err….), setting up tours for various remaining summer camps and preschools and daycares, finding local doctors/dentists for all of us…and of course starting to arrange all the furniture my husband is planning on driving up this weekend in a Uhaul from DC.  Most of it is from my grandparent’s place, including many pieces my grandfather made himself in a traditional North Carolina style, so it is beautiful, but may take a little thought to work it into a midcentury colonial house.  An idea for another post…

Closing

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We’re scheduled to close on Nyack Nest this coming Tuesday…!

In the meantime, I’ve explored and (I think) abandoned the idea of hiring an au pair and instead have begun investigating the world of infant daycare.  If anyone has any recommendations, please let me know in the comments!  There is a chain called Children of America that is close to us, affordable, and with long hours (6:00am-6:30pm, wow), but it gets mixed reviews so I’m not sure what to think.  Then there are a number of in-home or smaller independent childcares to check out once we’re in the new place.  Either way I’m sad to lose the daily language exposure we’ve had with our great full-time babysitter/nanny in Brooklyn but I didn’t have much luck finding Spanish-speaking local sitters on care.com, so…c’est la vie, I guess.  At least Nyack Montessori has daily Spanish – fingers crossed that our oldest will get a spot there or another pre-K…

I’ve set up gas and electric with Orange & Rockland and scheduled FiOS installation (no more TWC means a whole new set of Spanish channels to explore…) but failed to call Nyack Water – or is it United Water? (oops, hopefully they can do that last minute), and failed to choose a washer/dryer (still! I know.).    I’m working on bringing up furniture and (!) a grand piano from my grandparents…and our apartment movers are scheduled.

Also, I think we’re going to buy a minivan.  I won’t be twisted between two carseats in the back of the Subaru entertaining/feeding the kids during long car trips anymore.  So yes, I am super excited about it.  I think my husband is a little embarrassed for me.

Okay, readers, what am I forgetting?  So many things, I’m sure…

Very Young People’s Concerts @ NY Philharmonic

My son has never made it through a single music class we tried to get him interested in.  And we have tried quite a few, because I love music and just assumed he would too.  But a lot of music classes expect toddlers to sit still in circle time or at least dance to the music semi-attentively, and that was/is something my son was just not interested in doing.  When he was younger and I tried to sing to him, he would scream, “Stop singing!!”  He does like to strum a guitar or cello when we pull them out – but for about 5 minutes, max.

So I’ve been really pleasantly surprised this year when he’s sat quietly and mostly transfixed through each of the “Very Young People’s Concerts” with the NY Philharmonic that Grandpa and Mimi got us for his third birthday.  In an actual auditorium seat, no less.  These people really know what they are doing.

“Mommies don’t work.”

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My dad came to visit us yesterday in our Brooklyn apartment.  My son, who is 3 and a half, was excited but kept asking where his fiancee, “Mimi”, was.  My dad (“Grandpa”) explained that she couldn’t make it because she is a nurse and had to work.  My son then responded with confusion: “But…mommies don’t work.”

SCREECH.  Huh??  How did my son get this idea?  (I work, by the way).  Also, Mimi’s children are grown up now, so although she is a “mommy” he doesn’t really see her in that capacity.  He does have a lot of friends whose moms stay at home, but he also has many who have babysitters…

I feel like this is one of those “teachable moments” where I’m supposed to educate my son about all the choices mommies and daddies have and how they each make different choices that work best for them and their families, and I totally blew it in my complete surprise that he would say that.

What do you think, readers, what should I have said?  Is there a good followup conversation or am I just making too much of this?

No More Momma Culpa

“Behind every successful child is a mother who is pretty sure she is screwing it up.” — Cup of Jo (referencing this post/a comment on a Humans of New York picture).

Really?  Behind EVERY successful child?  So, if I’m not pretty sure I’m screwing it up my child is not/will not be successful?

I realize this sort of comment is meant to be reassuring to all the moms who are worrying that they are screwing it up.  But “pretty sure” she is screwing it up?  That takes it too far.  I’m tired of being told I have to feel guilty, self-doubting, or put myself down to be a good mother.

Fellow moms of the world, I will not think you are arrogant, uncaring, unloving, or possessing of an unsuccessful child, if you do not ask me (or anyone else) for reassurance about your parenting decisions.  I hope you will extend me the same grace!

Whee!

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After incessantly nagging everyone involved in the moving process like the lawyer that I am, I finally got some more news today:  The village search came back and our lawyer is ready to schedule closing.   Meaning we might actually be the proud owners of Nyack Nest sometime this month!

Do Millennials Really Want to Live in the Suburbs?

The National Association of Home Builders recently released a survey of millennials who have bought houses in the last 3 years or who are planning to do so in the next 3 years that found that of that subset, a solid majority (66%) wanted to buy in the suburbs.  The survey has been picked up by a number of news outlets:  The Atlantic, the WSJ, Curbed, etc.

I read this and couldn’t help but think:  really??  I realize I’m coming from a very particular place since most people I know who are making the decision are in Brooklyn, which is a pretty kid-friendly urban area, but it seems like almost everyone I know moves to the suburbs because they had kids (or are planning to have kids soon) and can’t afford the space, amenities, and/or schools they feel that they need to live comfortably with kids in the city (particularly if they want to buy), not because they prefer to live in the suburbs.

What do you think, readers?